Coming up with things to talk about on dates can be one of the more difficult parts of navigating the early stages of a relationship. It’s totally normal to have date anxiety. Your date is probably just as nervous as you are. This list of things to talk about on dates is a sure-fire way to get to know your potential S.O. in a cool, calm, and collected way.
Initial Questions for a First Date (Level 1)
All of these questions allow for you to learn who this person is on the most basic level. This list of things to talk about on dates is great for finding basic commonalities and helping you and your date to bond. It’ll give you a sense of who they are and where they are coming from.
- Where are you from?
- Do you have any siblings?
- What do you do for a living?
- Did you have any pets growing up?
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- Have you taken any trips recently?
- What is your favorite book/ TV show/ movie/ song/ podcast/ etc.?
- What was your first concert/what was the last concert you went to?
Questions to Get to Know Someone Better (Level 2)
Starting to feel more comfortable? The following questions might seem like pretty basic things to talk about on dates, but they’ll be able to give you a little more insight into the personality, aspirations, and values of your date.
- What’s your favorite type of food?
- What is your favorite place to be?
- Describe your perfect Saturday.
- What was the last book you read/ TV show you watched/ movie you saw?
- What is your dream job?
- What’s your least favorite chore?
- What’s your favorite holiday and why?
- What did you major in?
- What’s your favorite song to sing in the shower?
- Why did you move to *insert name of city you both live in here*?
Questions to Highlight Individuality (Level 3)
At a certain point in dating someone, you have to go beyond the first date list of things to talk about on dates. Asking more theoretical questions allow for some fun and witty banter along the way while still learning more about what makes your date different.
- What’s one thing you can’t live without?
- What is the one thing you are most proud of?
- What was the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- What’s your biggest pet peeve?
- What is the last embarrassing thing that happened to you?
- What’s the best trait of the person you admire the most?
- If you could go back in time, what decade would you go to?
- What was the best gift you’ve ever received? What was the best gift you ever gave?
- What’s your morning/evening routine like?
- What’s your favorite rainy day activity?
Questions to Reveal Deal-breakers (Level 4)
These questions are the ones that hold possibly controversial and deal-breaking answers. While these might lead to unwanted responses, uncomfortable moments, or awkward silences, it’s important to be straightforward with your date. These topics of things to talk about on dates are better saved for a third date or later.
- Who did you vote for?
- What’s your weirdest habit?
- How do you feel about social media?
- Is there anything in your life you regret?
- Do you have any big plans for the future?
- What happened to your last relationship?
- What are your spiritual beliefs?
- What’s your philosophy on life?
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
General Tips for Things to Talk about on Dates
With all of the conversation starters in place, here are some general tips for things to talk about on dates. Once your date shares their answer, feel free to answer the question yourself. Initiating a back and forth will allow for the conversation to evolve into something more natural. Listen and then generate a question or response that incorporates what they were just talking about.
You’re allowed to disagree with your date’s opinions. There are two ways to approach this; you can either have a friendly debate or tell your date you agree to disagree and change the subject.
Don’t lie! This is someone you potentially want to spend a lot of time with. Lying will lead to an unstable beginning. Here are some general tips to remember:
- Be yourself, be honest, and be polite.
- Try not to bring up your ex. If there is a funny anecdote involving your ex, replace “my ex” with “my friend.”
- Ask open-ended questions and answer with open-ended answers.
- Talk about the activity you are doing on the date. If you’re at a restaurant, ask about their food interests. If you go to a movie, ask about their movie interests.
How to End a Bad Date
Don’t feel like the date is going well? Running out of things to talk about on your date? Want to get out of there as soon as possible? Here are some polite ways to leave early or end an awkward conversation:
- “I really don’t feel comfortable talking about that right now. Could we change the subject?”
- “I don’t feel great, I think I’m going to call it an early night.“
- “This was fun, but I’m not looking for anything serious right now.“
- “It was great getting to know you, but I am looking for something more serious.”
- “I’ve had a really nice time tonight, maybe we could do this again as friends sometime?”
If you ever feel unsafe or in danger on your date, notify an employee of wherever you arelocated or call the police immediately. Let someone know your location if you are not meeting your date in a public setting.
All of these things to talk about on dates are subject to the person you are with and can be incorporated in whichever way feels most natural for you. Remember that dates are a casual way to get to know one another. There will be awkward silences and mishaps that happen to everyone. Just relax and enjoy each others presence.
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