Having truly great sex requires so many elements. You have to feel sexy and confident in yourself and have to be able to trust and communicate effectively with your partner. Many of these elements can actually be worked on before sex to ensure the experience is fun and pleasurable in the moment. Consulting an expert, like a sex coach on the Juicebox app, is a great way to explore your desires and learn tangible skills to make sex more enjoyable and fun!
Maybe you’ve never heard of a sex coach or maybe you are looking into trying out working with one. There are a lot of misconceptions about sex coaches and what it’s like working with one. We’ll give insight about the qualifications of a sex coach and how they can help improve your sex life and relationship.
Sex Coach Qualifications
Like therapists of the more conventional variety, sex coaches spend their careers examining research, developing techniques, and learning about the human condition. They use that knowledge to help clients understand, embrace, and enact their desires.
Coaches are most frequently certified through AASECT or the American Association Of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, is an organization that started in the 1960s. AASECT certification requires a bachelor’s degree, a minimum of three years of professional experience, and 1000 hours of sexuality counseling or education.
If a coach doesn’t have AASECT certification, there are 22 other professional organizations in human sexuality, ranging from the American Board of Sexology to The Society for Sex Therapy and Research. The one thing that links sex coaches is that they have an interest in helping their clients improve their intimate lives.
What Does Sex Coaching Look Like?
Similar to therapy, sex coaching is talk-based. Traditionally sex coaching took place in-person. However, today, clients have the option to communicate with qualified coaches through phone/video or even text-based coaching, for a more accessible option that doesn’t require an appointment.
It’s common to consult sex coaches on a variety of needs. Some of the most common issues we see at Juicebox are for female orgasm, libido issues, erectile issues, shame, trauma, and sexual exploration. Regardless of the specific issue, there are some common themes that sex coaches are equipped to help you solve:
1. Let Go of Shame
Talk of sex and intimacy is considered unacceptable and shameful in society; this extends to our personal lives. We worry if we are having enough sex, if our erections and orgasms are good enough, and how to share our fantasies with our partner.
Similar to more traditional therapy, talking about shame is a great way to lessen the power it has over you. It can take some time to uncover the root of your shame and reframe your sexuality as positive and empowering. A coach can provide a safe place to work through these issues. Additionally, they can teach you tangible skills to improve your confidence and create positive sexual experiences to replace negative ones.
2. Increase Your Pleasure
A sex coach can help you explore other ways to experience pleasure. For heterosexual couples, there is a tendency to focus on penis-in-vagina sex. However, only 20% of women are able to orgasm from penetration alone. Some people enjoy the feeling of mouths or fingers on their clits. Other women may have more success using vibrators. Exploring other parts of the body, like breasts or the ass, or incorporating dirty talk are ways you can play with different sensations and increase pleasure.
For men, the pressure to perform can take away from a pleasurable experience. A sex coach can help men focus less on the status of their erections and more on enjoying the process. There are other ways to provide pleasure by using your hands or mouth. Ironically, focusing less on your erection removes the pressure and makes it easier to perform. As a bonus, sex becomes more varied and exciting, which benefits everyone.
3. Explore Your Desires
Talking to a sex coach is a great way to figure out what you really want from your sex life. Some people may know exactly what issues they want to tackle. For others, it may be less obvious if they feel like they are in a rut but unsure what to change. Stella says that even people having great sex can benefit from working with a coach: “A sex coach can help you discover fantasies and interests you didn’t even know you had and tell you how to explore them safely. Both in terms of physical safety, and emotional safety too.”
Novelty can help break you out of a rut and create new opportunities for intimacy and play. A sex coach can help remove the stress of trying new things. “From anal play to rope bondage, there’s a whole world of playful fun and pleasure to be had when you’re willing to experiment and try new things,” says Stella.
4. Communicate Your Desires
After you are clear on what you want to explore, there’s the challenge of communicating your needs to a partner. Whether you are communicating with a new partner or a partner of many years, it requires vulnerability to share your desires. You also have to consider the other person. Sex is a two-way street and requires negotiation for both of your needs to be met.
In the Juicebox app, we have resources where you can practice sharing what you want to say and then the app will create a script you can use when talking to your partner. If this feels too formulaic, you can always just talk through the scenario with your coach. Stella says, “when trying new things it’s essential to have open, honest, and clear communication. If that doesn’t already come naturally to you (and it doesn’t to most people), we can help.”
Whether you’re looking to overcome sexual shame or to spice things up in bed, a sex coach can help. If you are interested in working with a sex coach, the Juicebox app makes working with these experts more accessible than ever. Providing private one-on-one advice on your phone, Juicebox allows you to find a counselor who’s right for your needs.