While many people would consider a high sex drive anything but a problem, if you’re single, or with a partner who is less driven by sex than you, an overactive libido can cause friction of the decidedly unsexy variety. If you suspect your sex drive is too high for comfort, here are some things you can consider.
A high sex drive or “overactive libido” can look like a lot of things. On the extreme end of the spectrum, a person may obsess about sex, compulsively pursue sexual experiences, or take great risks with sex, including choices that may cause emotional or physical harm to themselves or others. Some people may put themselves in financial jeopardy by compulsively spending money on sex workers or pornography. Other people may just find that they desire sex more than comfortably fits into their life. For instance, new parents or people with demanding jobs may find that desiring sex is frustrating because it pulls their attention away from other activities they consider more important. Rarely, physical disorders can cause “hyperarousal” where even neutral touch can cause a wave of intense pleasure or even orgasm in people.
If you suspect you have an abnormally high libido, it’s a good idea to examine your expectations of “normal.” Ask yourself these questions:
The fact is, everyone’s version of a “normal” sex drive is different. What matters is how your sex drive or interest in sex affects the rest of your life. If you feel unbalanced or out of control, you may want to seek out treatments.
Some high sex drive can be traced to health disorders. For instance, high sex drive is often a symptom of disorders including hyperadrenalism, hormonal imbalances, bipolar disorder or various impulse control disorders. An increased libido is usually just one of many symptoms that are part of these health concerns. If your high libido is accompanied by other physical or mental symptoms, it’s a good idea to discuss this with your doctor.
Other causes of a high sex drive many not be as easy to pin down with a blood test. Child sexual abuse, for instance, sometimes manifests later in life as hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behavior. A high libido is also sometimes caused by life changes. Many women, at various times during pregnancy, report a markedly increased interest in sex. Often after the pregnancy is over, the woman’s sex drive will return to normal. Other women report an increased sex drive during menopause, when the ovaries stop producing estrogen, and testosterone becomes more dominant. This can cause frustration because while a woman’s interest in sex increases, her ability to enjoy it can be decreased by other menopausal changes including decreased vaginal lubrication. These concomitant issues are often easily mitigated with medication.
Remember, a high sex drive isn’t a problem to be solved unless it’s causing emotional or mental strife. If you have a partner with an equally high libido, or if you enjoy casual sex, there’s no reason to worry. However, if your desire or interest is interfering with the rest of your life, it’s a good idea to seek treatment.
Sexual health is an essential component to overall health. As with all things, balance is key. Sexuality is best when it fits comfortably into your life, neither suppressed nor overwhelming. By investigating medical, emotional, and physical resources, you may be able to find the perfect balance of sex in your life.