Anilingus (or a “rim job”) is the act of performing oral sex on someone’s anus. When everyone is on board, rim jobs can feel extraordinary, create unique sensations, and improve intimacy between a couple.Because of the natural bacteria that live inside the butt, rim jobs require certain guidelines that are often not necessary for other activities. Here’s what you need to know before going downtown:
Anuses have bacteria that can cause illness when ingested. Before any sort of anal sex, it’s a good idea to thoroughly clean the outside of your anus. It’s best to shower with soap and water and make sure to scrub your buttcrack. If a shower isn’t an option, antibacterial handy wipes will work in a pinch. Either way, it’s good to clean all the external surfaces inside your crack PLUS dip a little bit inside your anus to clean the external sphincter.
If you’re really nervous about cleanliness, use an enema. Enemas are cheap and easy to get at your local drug store. If you want to be extra squeaky clean before any butt stuff, give yourself an hour before sexytime to clean yourself out. Enemas aren’t at all necessary for healthy rim jobs, but they can add a little peace of mind to the proceedings.
Trimming isn’t necessary, but if you’re really hairy, it can improve the experience. Simple electric clippers in your crack will usually suffice. Or you can go super smooth by getting a Brazilian wax (sometimes known as a “Manzilian” for the male of the species).
Don’t go from the anus to the vagina or mouth. Vaginas have a specific biome that helps maintain their health. When performing oral sex it’s perfectly fine to go FROM the vagina TO the anus. But you should never go FROM the anus TO the vagina. Doing so could introduce unwelcome bacteria into the vaginal tract, potentially causing infections.Okay, now that we’ve gotten the hygiene out of the way, how do you put the “lingus” in analingus?
Just like in other kinds of oral sex, the build up is key. Take your time working down your partner’s body. Kiss and nibble their butt cheeks, squeeze their thighs, and give them time to warm up and yearn for the sensation.
Hands and oral sex go together so well. Yet too many folks take their hands out of the sexy equation when going downtown. Keep your hands working as you work your partner’s ass. You can give massage to their back, buttocks and thighs, or give them a friendly reach-around. Many people find the combination of genital and anal stimulation to be out of this world.
It’s true that spit is often sufficient to lubricate for oral sex, however, using lube can increase everyone’s pleasure. Lube can be helpful if your partner is particularly hairy, or if you just want a little extra slipperiness. If you don’t like the natural taste of your partner’s body, flavored lubes can be fantastic. Most flavored lubes have sugar in them, making them incompatible with vaginas. But it’s a-okay to use a sugary lube in the butt.
Rim jobs can feel fantastic, but they can also be a strange or emotionally-confronting experience for newbies. Ask your partner if she or he is enjoying what you’re doing. If you get a verbal confirmation, keep going. But if you feel hesitation or doubt, stop what you’re doing and have a conversation about it. If you aren't sure what to say, you can get personal advice from our coaches about how to approach rim jobs with your partner.
Adding a finger in the anus can feel superb. But it’s a good idea to ask before penetrating. If your partner is down with it, be sure to lube up your finger well, and then gently press their anal opening. Let them guide you, and if it gets to be too much, be willing and ready to pull out.
A lot of what people enjoy the most from rim jobs is the feeling of the tongue against the highly innervated tissue of the anal opening. Use the flat of your tongue to massage the anal sphincter.
The rim job gets its slang name from one of the more popular anilingus moves: running your tongue in circles around the rim of the anus. Be slow and deliberate with this move. It can feel strange if you go too fast. So take your time and savor the sensation (and hopefully the sounds your partner makes!).
Many people enjoy the sensation of penetrating the anus with the tip of the tongue. It can feel super sexy for both partners. If everyone is having fun, and you want to increase the energy, you can try “fucking” their ass with your tongue with rapid in-out motions.
Everyone has a perineum (or taint). On men, it’s the whole expanse behind the scrotum up to the anus. On women, it’s much smaller to accommodate the vagina. Regardless of gender, the perineum is filled with nerves and often enjoys touch. Use your tongue on the taint, or put gentle but firm pressure on it while you’re taking your tongue on a tour of your partner’s ass.
Anilingus can be a sexy act in and of itself. But it’s also great for warming up your partner’s ass before anal penetration. If that’s on the menu, just be sure to get verbal affirmation before penetrating, and be sure to use lube. Our coaches have some great resources for anal sex.After anilingus, and before any other sort of oral play, it’s a good idea to use mouthwash and rinse off your face. If you want to kiss your partner, just ask. Even if they’re clean, and even if it’s their own ass, everyone has different “squick” factors. When in doubt, gargle and wash your face before continuing on with the sexy times.Download the Juicebox app for free to get sex & relationship advice from experts.Next read How to Talk Dirty and Sex Toys for Men.