6 Second Kiss

Different Desire Levels are Common

You and your partner are different which can extend to your desire levels. As life gets busy, not being on the same page can lead to having sex less and ultimately feeling disconnected.

More Pressure, Less Intimacy

This disconnect can put pressure on the relationship and the person initiating intimacy, regardless if they want it to lead to sex or not.

They may worry even kissing and cuddling can be perceived as initiating sex, and stop making a move for fear of rejection or "leading on" their partner.

Break the Cycle

So how do you remove the pressure and increase intimacy? The best way to make any lasting change is to start with your habits.

John Gottman, renowned relationship psychologist, suggests one way couples can create this habit is by sharing a 6-second kiss each day you spend together.

“A six-second kiss is a kiss with potential,” according to Gottman.

6-Second Kiss

Starting with a 6-second kiss is a gradual way to make intimacy part of your routine. The kiss should be long, slow, and deep.

The key is not to attach the kiss to sex. Let the kiss speak for itself. If it leads to sex, great, but don’t make that the goal.

As Gottman points out, kissing has it's own benefits: 

It releases oxytocin, which makes you feel a sense of comfort and bonding, and dopamine, which activates your brain’s reward center.

Start Small

A 6-second kiss may not spark your intimacy back to 100%, but it’s a start. Being intimate in small ways every day communicates to your partner that you care and enjoy physical connection with them.

After doing this for a while, you and your partner could have a longer discussion about what you want your intimacy to look like.