Getting Out of Your Head During Sex

Want to do an exercise together right now?

Repeat four times and notice how your breath and heart rate slow.

How to Stay Present

"Being in your head" is a common issue that prevents people from connecting with their body, being present for their partner, and thoroughly enjoying sex.

Sex researchers Masters and Johnson identified this issue as “spectatoring,” which referred to the habit of mentally evaluating yourself during sex and worrying about performance.

One of the best ways to stop spectatoring is to focus on your breath during sex. Breathing exercises can also help with a range of sexual issues: 

Practice on Your Own

To get started, practice breathing during your masturbation routine:

Inhale through your nose, imagine sending your breath down to your genitals and back up to your mouth as you exhale.

This requires a bit of extra attention, and brings your focus back to your body.

If you typically masturbate with external stimulation such as porn, this is also good practice for shifting arousal back to physical sensations.

With a Partner

Breathwork can also help you connect with your partner. Here are a few breathing exercises to try together: 

You may feel silly trying this at first, but keep in mind, some people can even breathe themselves to orgasm! So it’s a skill worth practicing.