Like it or not, porn has become a part of sex culture. PornHub had 33.5B visits in 2018. 

Porn is not good or bad in itself. It’s more important to consider how porn makes you feel. 

• Does it get you hot and bothered? Does it make you want to explore? 
• Or does it make you feel bad about yourself and your body? Are you reliant on it to get aroused or achieve orgasm?
  

If you are experiencing some negative effects of porn, it may be time to approach porn differently. Here are some things to try: 

Know the difference between porn and real life

It can be tempting to try to replicate porn scenes in real life but remember porn is NOT real sex. Porn is visual entertainment and typically does not reflect real pleasure, real physical comfort, or real bodies. 

If you are feeling insecure about your body during sex, try taking a break from porn or watching content with performers who are more physically representative of the population. 

Practice moderation

If you feel you are getting reliant on porn for arousal or orgasm, then set some boundaries around watching porn. For instance, you could only watch porn on the weekends. 

Explore variety

It’s great to know what you like, but you don’t want to rely on one type of content to get off, especially if you or your partner wants variety in real life sex. Explore new types of content and even new ways to masturbate (positions, location, types of touch). 

Consider the type of porn

To avoid the pitfalls of porn, here are some things to look for: 

• Real Pleasure. This means the performers use plenty of lube, choose the positions that work for them, and they aren’t faking all those O faces. 
• The best porn has an emphasis on an ethical workplace. This means the cast and crew are paid fairly for their labor. No one is required to do anything (or anyone) they don’t want to do. 
• Challenging stereotypes, instead of reinforcing them. Performers shouldn’t be tokenized based on their race, body type, or gender. 
  

Ethical porn sites

The good news is there are plenty of ethical or feminist sites that meet these criteria while still being extraordinarily hot. 

For high quality, ethical porn you will generally have to pay for content either by subscription or pay-per-view. Three of our favorite sites are Erika Lust, Bellesa, and Kink.com, which allow you to preview content before purchasing.

Incorporate porn in your relationship

It can feel intimidating to share your private desires with a partner but sharing your porn preferences can be a great way to increase intimacy. Try watching porn together during foreplay as a way to mix things up.