Sexting can be a wonderful way to get to know someone and learn about their turn ons at a safe distance and a slower pace. If you’re brand new to sexting, practice with out sexting chatbot called Slutbot, which can provide more sexting examples.
Due to the advent of dating and hook-up apps, it’s also likely sexting can be one of the first ways you start flirting with a new person. Sexting can also be used to spice up an existing relationship, or keep the juices flowing between dates or during long-distance relationships. According to a study conducted by the American Psychological Association, sexting behavior is common among American adults, with 82.20% reporting sexting within the last year.
Should you start slow? Launch into the raunch? How do you determine what’s the best way to approach a new sexting buddy? And where can you find sexting examples to help inspire some of your own? You might be afraid that to be good at sexting you’ll need a rich imagination and huge sexual lexicon. Rest assured, it’s actually much easier than this.
The first thing to do when starting to sext with someone is making sure you’re both into it. The best way to find out is to ask. Here are some sexting examples to get the party started:
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Can I share one of the naughty fantasies I had?”
“I took a naked selfie and I think I look cute. Wanna see it?”
“I miss you. Can you send me something naughty?”
If your sexting partner is eager, go for it! Once you get the go-ahead, here are some sexting examples and frameworks to get you going.
Let’s break down sexting into a couple different styles:
These four main categories of sexting are designed to help you come up with good sexting examples on your own.
Flirtation is perfect for getting to know someone new, though it can be a great way to introduce sexting into an existing relationship, too. The tone can be coy and playful. Rather than describing specific scenes or fantasies, it can be fun to play with innuendo. It’s also a good idea to start with complements and questions. Here are some Flirtation-style sexting examples:
“I like your profile pic. It makes you look like you have a secret.”
“I had a dream about you the other night. Would you like to hear about it?”
“Thinking about you makes me feel all warm and tingly. I would love to see you again soon.”
You may notice that this style isn’t necessarily about sex. Rather, it’s a way to dip your toes into sexting, and gauge where the other person is at. Here are some more flirtation-style sexting examples:
“I’m in bed. Want to give me something to think about as I fall asleep?”
“Thanks for the voicemail. My god, your voice just drives me wild.”
“I’m really excited for our date next week. I’m having fun deciding what kind of underwear to wear.”
“You really know how to talk to me. I can’t wait to see how you touch me, too. ;)”
Flirtation style sexting can certainly escalate to more explicit styles. It can also stay light and sweet, too. The key is for both of you to be on the same page about what feels comfortable and exciting.
Fantasy-style sexting is all about telling a story or collaborating on a shared scene. Fantasies are a perfect way to assess someone’s tastes and desires, while also learning about what they don’t like. Here’s a great formula for sexting fantasies:
Here are some sexting examples in the Fantasy style, using the above framework:
A: Can I tell you what I want to do with you next time we get together?
A: I bought new massage oil. I want to lay you down in front of the fireplace and give you a full body massage. How does that sound to you?
A: What else would you like me to do to you?
Or here’s another sexting example that’s more explicit:
A: “I can’t wait to taste you again.”
B: “Oh yeah?”
A: “I want to bend you over and eat you out from behind.”
B: “I want your sweetness to drip down my chest as you buck and moan. What about you? What do you want me to do to you?”
You can also play with creating complete scenarios. Here’s a sexting example that sets up a whole scene:
A: I’m imagining taking you to a glamorous sex party.
B: Tell me about it.
A: You’ll wear that outfit you wore on our first date. You look so sexy in that. We’ll arrive at the party in an opulent mansion in the hills. When we walk in, everyone will turn to admire how hot we look together. We’ll wander the rooms looking for a delicious third person to add to our scene. They’ll ask us what we want to do. What will you say?
And so on. Fantasy style can be the hardest for some people to master, because it can feel vulnerable to expose that much of one’s sexual psyche to another person. It can be a good idea to ask for positive reinforcement, by asking questions like, “Do you like this?” or “Is there something you’d like better?”
Memory style sexting is great for established relationships where you already have a sexual history to pull inspiration from. It can be as simple as recounting a hot shared experience. Here are some sexting examples pulling from your shared sexual history.
A: Remember that trip to Maui?
B: I loved that trip.
A: You looked so hot as you held me on the balcony while the sun set. I wanted you so badly I felt like I could burst.
A: Thanks for the great sex last night.
B: What was your favorite part?
A: Probably when you pulled my hair just before you came.
Finally, there’s Task/Request sexting. This is particularly good for people who enjoy playing with power-dynamics in their sex lives or are service-oriented in general. The tone you used is based on the way your partner likes hearing or sharing commands.
A: Do you want to do something right now to make me happy?
A: I want you to jerk off right now and then I want you to tell me what you think of when you come.
A: Go to the office bathroom and send me a picture of your ass.
A: Did you get the package I sent you?
B: I did.
A: I want you to put them on and send me a selfie.
Sexting is an opportunity to be playful and flirtatious while communicating likes/dislikes, desires, and expectations. Have fun with it, play with your favorite sexting examples, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.